Be Who They Be

Re-reading Alaine's poem, I am still shocked at it's power.  It's unexpectedness.  If it wasn't enough to hear it the first time, reading it doesn't take away any of the impact.

It's raw.  It's unexpected, further clarifying exactly who she is. The power of the introvert, thrown out in an explosion so random that none of us see it coming; it was her fierceness she described, lashing out in her moment on the stage.  Then, again, retreating.

I too have moments like this.  Moments when, my seemingly calm demeanor retreats and I throw my head back to the heavens in what Jonah calls a freedom stance and yell WHY.  Why am I here?  Why am I going to school?  Why do I feel the pressure to be an extrovert?  Why do I feel the pressure to impress ANYONE?

These moments of helplessness (or clarity, I haven't yet decided), although leaving me nostalgic at the prospect of my life, give me hope that I am aware.  I am absorbing, just like Alaine, and forming my own opinions.  And Alaine's presentation gave me just enough inspiration and motivation to form a big one.

I AM NEITHER AN INTROVERT OR AN EXTROVERT. (Yes, she also inspired me to capitalize whatever the hell I want).

Maybe according to others' labels, I would fall under the category of introvert after 5 p.m. on a weekday.  Maybe I would be called an extrovert on the weekends when all I want to do is be with my loved ones.  But at this point, I'm sick of trying to figure it out.  I'm sick of trying to put a label on myself to define what settings I best thrive in, because they change daily.  I change daily.

Introvert or extrovert, the question most commonly resorted to.  Why is is so important? WHY? Why can't we be both? Neither? How fantastic would it be if we weren't constantly asked to put ourselves in a box, if we weren't told what was right for extrovert and wrong for the introvert?  How wonderfully splendid would it be to relax or adventure into whatever action next comes your way, without feeling guilty about the choice you make?

I am adventurous.  I travel like nobody's business and take leaps sometimes way too big for me.  Meeting new friends is one of the greatest remedies I've found for any ailment, and I continue to do so on the daily.  Yet, I'm not out there go-go-going all the time.  I like to sleep in on the weekends.  I enjoy the mornings when I have the house to myself.  My physical activity consists of yoga and walking to school.  So give me a break!

Don't label me, and I won't label myself.  Stop trying to categorize and organize and find the answers to every fricking problem out there, because much of the time they aren't even problems to begin with.  Let people be who the be, guilt-free.